How to get young people to Church

This is reposted from The blog Owls and Angels  It’s compelling Reading and I am interested in your thoughts.

…people in the church would ask me, “Why don’t young people come to church?” or “How do we get young people to come to church?”  I have some suggestions now, so listen up. 

Here is a step-by-step plan for how to get more young people into the church:

1.  Be genuine.  Do not under any circumstances try to be trendy or hip, if you are not already intrinsically trendy or hip.  If you are a 90-year-old woman who enjoys crocheting and listens to Beethoven, by God be proud of it. 

2.  Stop pretending you have a rock band. 

3.  Stop arguing about whether gay people are okay, fully human, or whatever else.  Seriously.  Stop it.

4.  Stop arguing about whether women are okay, fully human, or are capable of being in a position of leadership. 

5.  Stop looking for the “objective truth” in Scripture.

6.  Start looking for the beautiful truth in Scripture.

7.  Actually read the Scriptures.  If you are Episcopalian, go buy a Bible and read it.  Start in Genesis, it’s pretty cool.  You can skip some of the other boring parts in the Bible.  Remember though that almost every book of the Bible has some really funky stuff in it.  Remember to keep #5 and #6 in mind though.  If you are evangelical, you may need to stop reading the Bible for about 10 years.  Don’t worry:  during those ten years you can work on putting these other steps into practice.

8.  Start worrying about extreme poverty, violence against women, racism, consumerism, and the rate at which children are dying worldwide of preventable, treatable diseases.  Put all the energy you formerly spent worrying about the legit-ness of gay people into figuring out ways to do some good in these areas.

9.  Do not shy away from lighting candles, silence, incense, laughter, really good food, and extraordinary music.  By “extraordinary music” I mean genuine music.  Soulful music.  Well-written, well-composed music.  Original music.  Four-part harmony music.  Funky retro organ music.  Hymns.  Taize chants.  Bluegrass.  Steel guitar.  Humming.  Gospel.  We are the church; we have a uber-rich history of amazing music.  Remember this.

10.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

11.  Learn how to sit with people who are dying.

12.  Feast as much as possible.  Cardboard communion wafers are a feast in symbol only.  Humans can not live on symbols alone.  Remember this.

13.  Notice visitors, smile genuinely at them, include them in conversations, but do not overwhelm them.

14.  Be vulnerable.

15.  Stop worrying about getting young people into the church.  Stop worrying about marketing strategies.  Take a deep breath.  If there is a God, that God isn’t going to die even if there are no more Christians at all.

16.  Figure out who is suffering in your community.  Go be with them.

17.  Remind yourself that you don’t have to take God to anyone.  God is already with everyone.  So, rather than taking the approach that you need to take the truth out to people who need it, adopt the approach that you need to go find the truth that others have and you are missing.  Go be evangelized. 

18.  Put some time and care and energy into creating a beautiful space for worship and being-together.  But shy away from building campaigns, parking lot expansions, and what-have-you.

19.  Make some part of the church building accessible for people to pray in 24/7.  Put some blankets there too, in case someone has nowhere else to go for the night.

20.  Listen to God (to Wisdom, to Love) more than you speak your opinions.

This is a fool-proof plan.  If you do it, I guarantee that you will attract young people to your church.  And lots of other kinds of people too.  The end.

Proclaim your thanks!

Thanks to My friend Micheal Harbour, I was reminded of the original Thanksgiving Holiday Proclamation.  I re-read it and was astounded at the level of intentionality maintained by our president Abraham Lincoln.  Take a moment to read, and be thankful.

It was written by William Seward and given to A. Lincoln to sign.  He did and the original was sold to support recovering soldiers.  Listen closely.

             It is the duty of nations as well as men to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God; to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon; and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations are blessed whose God is the Lord.

            We know that by His divine law, nations, like individuals, are subjected to punishments and chastisements in this world.  May we not justly fear that the awful calamity of civil war which now desolates the land may be punishment inflicted upon us for our presumptuous sins, to the needful end of our national reformation as a whole people?

            We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in numbers, wealth and power as no other nation has ever grown.

            But we have forgotten God.  We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own.  Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us.

            It has seemed to me fit and proper that God should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people.  I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November as a day of Thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens.

(signed) 

A. Lincoln

Awake

You know that feeling in the middle of the night when you are lying in bed and you wake up suddenly.  The noise that woke you is now blurred.  The faint echo of it, still ringing in your ears is now questioned as real or as part of your dream.  Still, you can’t ignore it.  Your heart is beating quickly.  Your face is flushed and you find yourself gripped with either fear or the rush of adrenaline.  Needless to say, you are awake.  WIDE awake.

I don’t know how it happened, but today, I feel as if I have woken up.  I think when you begin to consistently look at the world and your place in it with purpose and meaning, something happens.  It doesn’t happen immediately.  But, I do think that one day something clicks.  I was speaking today with a good friend and we were talking about the things that have been on our mind.  Interestingly, he’s had one particular thing on his mind for a few weeks/months now.  I told him that it was the same for me, but a completely different topic.  I find it refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who obsesses over things.  Of course, maybe it’s not obsessing if you’re trying to work some things out for the better.  Maybe the spirit of God pushes you to contemplate certain ideas because He wants you to encourage more of his people to to be thinking about similar things. 

Meg Ryan speaks a line from the often panned movie Joe Vs. The Volcano.  She says, ”my father says that most people in the world are asleep and there are only a few people who are awake.  But those who are awake live in a state of Constant Amazement.”   I feel that many are somewhat asleep.  I assume the reason is that they aren’t people who have realized their purpose. 

When you suddenly realize your purpose or place in this big overbearing world, something happens.  The noise that was your life is now blurred.  The faint echo of it, still ringing in your ears is now questioned as real.  Still, you can’t ignore it. It has led you to this moment.  Your heart is beating quickly.  Your face is flushed and you find yourself gripped with either fear or the rush of adrenaline pushing you to act…to see this to the end.  Needless to say, you are awake.  WIDE awake. 

Are you awake?  As for today, I am.

What’s in your thankful jar?

I’ve committed to do something this week.  I know it doesn’t sound like much, but I’m going to be intentionally thankful for my life and those things within it.  This past sunday night in our life group, we had our children write down the things for which they were thankful.  Reading through the list I came across a few of the following:

Colors
Hugging
Plants
Lego Star Wars, The Complete Saga
Dogs
Donuts
Jesus
I am thankful that I have a family.

The same night, as I said prayers with my little 2 1/2 year old, he spent several moments thanking God for Cake.  Daddy’s Cake, Mommy’s Cake, Sissy’s cake, Andrews Cake, Aubrey’s cake…  This little boy is teaching me a lot about being thankful.  It is quite easy to spend most of my day wanting and needing things I do not have that I forget all about being thankful for things I often take for granted.  So, I encourage you this week as I am myself, to remember to thank God…often.  I can learn a thing or two from my little ones.

Observation – Lesson 5

I’m currently in lesson 5 of Richard Boleslavsky’s book ACTING: The First Six Lessons.  I’m going through the lesson and then applying the same to our life as Children of God.  It’s actually quite interesting.  The two correlate quite well.  The passion of Boleslavsky in regards to the theater is something that many of the churchgoing Christians of today lack.  His passion was to create and present art through the experience of the theater.  The hopewas that one entered the theater in a particular way and left a changed human being.  This is similar to how we are on Sundays.  Although we do not articulate the day as such, we hope to leave changed.  If we do not, then we attend out of obligation and not freedom.  The lessons presented in the book create avenues of discussion for those of us wishing to devote as much time and energy into the pursuit of the creator of art and the creator of experience.

In lesson 5 we see the idea of Observation.  

The idea is that our experience can grow when we learn to incorporate our observations into our art.  To watch carefully the actions of others – to see the way they carry themselves and interact with others -to see how others manage themselves in ordinary tasks and how they act when they think no one is watching them.  The exercise of observation and study brings about a greater sense of experience from which to draw.    

This brings us to an interesting idea.  When we ponder our life and how we carry ourselves throughout the day, how much do we remember?  Do we observe ourselves?  Many of us are fantastic at observing others, but what about turning that lens inward?  Can we remember, to the detail, our actions of the day?  If we are to be intentional, this is critical.  Can we remember the day and our interaction within it?  Can we remember where our feet took us or what our eyes showed us?  Can we remember where our self control faltered and when our demeanor changed?  Can we recall who our mouth encouraged and who it tore down?  Can we recall the seconds or minutes spent in silence as we remembered the God who continues to save us?  Can we recall what we heard or more importantly, HOW we heard?  Did we hear with ears that were ready to hear or were we already full?  {No more room inside for petty conversation.}  What about our hands?  Who have we made connection with today?  Have we connected with anyone in a meaningful way or are we on our way to a completely self-centered life?

How observant are we?

Observation is a core element to living an intentional life.  We cannot interact intentionally within it unless we know how to navigate through it. 

 



Distractions

I’m thinking about Distractions and how they lead to becoming disconnected with our life.  Seems that if you want to live intentionally, you learn how to ignore the distractions or you learn how to dismiss them quickly.  I know, I know, distraction is good when you want a break from thinking about work or something else that is consuming you.  I’m not talking about that.  I’m talking about those things which distract us from our relationships.  Excessive work, hobbies, the internet, sports, TELEVISION…these things distract us from the reality that matters.  In fact, Ive had a hard time finishing this post because my kids and my family need attention -irony?  So, I’m thinking about what distracts me on a consistent basis and I’m asking myself if it’s helping or hurting my relationships.  By the way, Fantasy Football begins soon, how many leagues constitutes a distraction???

The Good I want to do…

Romans 7 talks about the Good I want to do.  From The message Verses 17-20 reads:

I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

Christians are in a struggle.  We are in a struggle with something as old as time itself.  Sin.  ALthough we ‘want’ to win, we ‘often’ don’t.  Because of the failures, many of us feel alone in our fight.  Well, we aren’t.  can you relate to the above verses?

This Sunday I will be talking about things that kill relationships.  As I’ve been studying, I’ve been reminded of a ministry I’ve already mentioned.  It is a ministry that offends some Christians.  It can be found at www.xxxchurch.com  A ministry focused on  helping people get out from underneath their addiction to pornography.  A ministry focused on helping people in the sex industry find freedom from their slavery.  A ministry that helps ‘Heal’, not ‘Kill’ Relationships.

Problem is, the sex industry markets to self involved people.  It produces self absorbed people that separate themselves from realistic relationships only to be left to feel completely and utterly alone – but they aren’t.  I ran across this message that I would like to share.  I would love to hear your responses.  If you have the time please watch some or all.  The video is around 30 minutes, but is an important thing to hear.  How will you live intentionally today?

Cash only!!

Ok, so this may not be a monumentally moving moment, but it is alliterative and it is practical.  Our fridge went out.  2 servicemen and 150 dollars later I was told that it was going to cost me $628 to fix a 4 1/2 year old bottom of the line GE Fridge.  No thank you.  To be honest, the first thing I did was to grab my Home Depot Credit Card.  After all, it’s an emergency right?  Resorting to a 12 months-no interest payment plan could be  construed as an emergency right?  Of course then I ask myself, how many months of no interest payment plans have I thoroughly tanked because of some other emergency that came up?  So, I slowly put the card down.  I’ll be honest, it was difficult.  I then sighed largely and grabbed my only remaining emergency fund, which happened to be the cash we are saving for disney and christmas.  Long story short, $906 later we own a new fridge.  OWN.  I’m not going to live to owe, no matter what the culture says is ok.  I am attempting a cash only 2010.  I haven’t charged anything on credit since March.  Amazingly, we aren’t behind and we haven’t really wanted for much.  The bank account goes low, but it’s because we know where the money is going.  Emergency fund is coming back. 

It seems that money is the thing we deal with at the most basic of levels.  We deal with it every day.  If I don’t live with purpose with my money, then how would I be able to live with purpose in any other area.  So, I start with the basics.  Anyone tried this before?  How far did you get?

What Now??

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to live with purpose. Despite its few good qualities, I think the purpose driven life by Rick Warren has done a lot to push the word ‘Purpose’ into the realm of kitsch and cliché. How, then, do I reframe this idea into a realistic and achievable lifestyle? This is something I’ve been talking with my wife about for quite some time. We see so many people controlled by their inattention to their lifestyle. Their schedule is overwhelming. Their kids are involved in everything under the sun. They tend to have many of the latest models of ‘stuff.’ There seems to be a heaviness on them at any given moment. In short, their activities plus their property equals the sum total of their life. Granted, you can still have moments of beauty, but the less we are in control of those moments, the more we must wait for that serendipitous aligning of the universe before we can experience it. I was falling into this pattern. I didn’t like it. I kept finding less money at the end of every month. My job wasn’t satisfactory. I kept looking to what was next without really experiencing the here and now. I looked up and realized that I hadn’t really changed all that much. The guy I hoped I’d be 10 years ago is not the guy I am. I needed to change.

I know I cannot be in control of everything. I know that life happens and we are forced into decisions and changes that we cannot control. Being a minister, I understand all too well the storm that a unwanted test result can bring. Or how a job loss can send your world into miserable turmoil. These things happen. It’s the day to day life of which I speak. Being able to say as your children go off to college that I did my best with them. I spent time with them. I helped shape them into a man or woman of passion, purpose and mission. It’s saying to your wife on each wedding anniversary that the journey has been difficult and passionate and at times terrible and at times Beautiful, but we’ve been together and I love you more now than I ever have because I know you deeper than I ever have.

These are idealistic images, but not too unrealistic. Fact is, not many people live in control of the minutiae. Most are controlled by it. So, here on Day 1, I focus on my family. It won’t take much…but when I Get home, I’m putting up the cell phone, turning off the TV during Dinner and I’m paying attention. Who knows, maybe there will be a story to tell.

Intentional Living

Funny, but the original title of this blog was “Intentional Ministry,”  but not everyone considers living as a ministry.  The pages of this blog will chronicle this quest I have put upon myself.  The challenge is to

‘live intentionally.’

What does this mean?  I’m not even sure I know.  What I think it is so far is this.  I’m going to live each day with purpose.

• In my home, I will spend more time living with my family instead of living ‘near’ my family.
• In my finances, I will give every dollar a name so that I am not controlled by what I don’t have.
• In my Relationship with my spouse, I will live to love her.
• In my relationships with my kids, I will be their daddy and not just the guy who comes home every night.
• At work, I will be there…fully present and positive.  I hope to not allow my irritation with any type of job situation own me.
• In my friendships, I will be open and vulnerable and attentive.

I will be chronicling my progress. Where will it lead?  I have no Idea.  What I do hope is that a few weeks into this challenge of living intentionally that I will begin to discover what it means to really “live.”

So, wish me luck.  Thanks for journeying with me. Here Goes…